Here Comes... Thorg the Unbelievable!

In a story undoubtedly inspired by the Easter Island statues, todays' installment of Stan Lee and Jack Kirby's giant monster comics (Where Creatures Roam issue 3, to be precise) involves an alien and his species' unusual- nay, UNBELIEVABLE- method of conquering worlds.

What I learned from this comic:

-When a wife is disappointed with her husband and his boring career choice, she will accompany him on one of his dull job excursions that she can’t stand.

-Thorg hails from an alien race that hasn’t changed evolutionarily, linguistically, politically or technologically over the course of a million years.

-Extraterrestrials with a lethal inability to swim will target a planet for invasion that is predominantly covered in deep water.

Links of Note and Possibly the Greatest Magazine Cover Illustration Ever

I think if I had come across this magazine as a kid, my brain would have exploded. 

Got an iPad? Then you can download the indie app game Metrop-A-Stomp for free. As for you Android users- you gotta shell out 99 cents. 

Speaking of games, you can also check out a fancier-looking version of Deathworm called Effing Worms 2 over here.

Shingeki no Kyodai is an interesting post-apocalyptic manga about the remainder of humanity surviving in a world of murderous giants. You can read a translated version of it here.

Vandoom: The Man Who Made a Creature!

Today’s journey into Stan Lee and Jack Kirby’s classic giant monster comics brings us to the story of “Vandoom” from the fourth issue of Where Creatures Roam. Much like the story of Frankenstein, the plot involves a somewhat obsessed individual who creates a monster that comes to life. Unlike Frankenstein however, some alien invaders show up because, well... why not?

What I learned from this comic:

1. When a small wax museum on the outskirts of remote European town begins to wane in popularity, it’s due to a lack of new sculptures... not because it’s a wax museum in the middle of friggin’ nowhere.

2. Lightning can bring ANYTHING to life.

3. A monster made of solid wax can become exhausted, even fatally, somehow.

4. Animate wax sculptures > Martians

5. There’s nothing the general public loves more than a wax museum exhibit based on a story that can't be truthfully verified in any way.

Links of Note and Dapper Ultramen

Being Ultraman isn’t always about fighting monsters. Sometimes it’s just about looking classy.

Some details of the Godzilla: Half-Century War comic mini-series due out in August by artist/writer James Stokoe. (Comics Alliance)

Comic Book Resources has revealed further info and conceptual artwork for the Dinosaurs vs. Aliens project. (Comic Book Resources)

Obliterate puny humans as a Martian tripod in this click-and-point game. (Tripod Attack)

The Escape of... Monsteroso!

Here’s another Stan Lee/Jack Kirby giant monster yarn featured in the fifth issue of Marvel Comics’ Amazing Adventures from 1961. It’s mostly a cautionary tale about the dangers of putting enormous aliens on display in museums and features a twist ending that Stan Lee reused in an episode of the 1970’s Fantastic Four cartoon.

What I learned from this comic:

1. The local government, much less the nations of world, can’t be bothered to investigate when an alien spacecraft crashes in Africa.

2. Putting an extraterrestrial life form on display in a museum won’t draw the attention of the military and/or scientific community.

3. Military bases always keep harpoon-based weaponry handy... just in case.

4. Giant alien parents are the worst parents in the universe.

Sunday Funnies: A Somewhat Familiar Story

From the 2nd issue of Sergio Aragonés Funnies:

I Am The Brute That Walks!

Here’s one of the stories from the first issue of Marvel Comics’ Where Creatures Roam (the comic itself is actually a reprint of Journey Into Mystery #63). Written by Stan Lee with artwork by Jack Kirby and Dick Ayers, the story kinda starts out like the old Charles Atlas print ad about the skinny weakling being harassed by a muscular bully on the beach. However, instead of sending away for Charles’ bodybuilding book, the protagonist turns to... mad science!

What I learned from this comic:

1. When fleeing from an enormous beast that’s chasing you, try to escape to an amusement park and get on one of the rides.

2. If you’ve transformed into a towering monstrosity, your clothes will magically reappear once you revert back to normal.

3. When a violent creature bursts out of an apartment building, goes on a rampage and then suspiciously vanishes into thin air, a subsequent police investigation isn’t necessary.

4. Becoming a monster and terrorizing your girlfriend is a great way to win her love.