What Kind of Giant Monster are You?

It’s a question that has puzzled man throughout the ages, so I took the liberty of creating a mini-quiz over at MeMeGen.net to help provide the answer. Simply type your name or username into the top field and the specific details of your giant monster persona will be revealed with the accuracy that only a random result generator can provide.

In the case of my own username (Mysterious Pants):

You are a: Shapeless Blob
As a result of... A scientific experiment gone horribly wrong
Offensive Ability: Venomous Bite
Secondary Ability: Toxic Skin
Achilles Heel: Electricity
Resistance to heavy artillery: Near Indestructible
Primary motivation? Battling other monsters
The first location you attack: New York, U.S.A

It’s more precise than astrology and palm-reading combined!

Click on the link below and take the test:

What kind of GIANT MONSTER are you?

Move Over, Monopoly!

My friend Rob recently brought a tactical-style board game to my attention called Giant Monsters Menace America. As he explains:

The essence of the game is that you run around smashing cities and battling the military (who are controlled by the other players), and get mutations along the way, until finally the surviving monsters gather and beat the crap out of each other in a giant monster brawl in the wreckage of a ruined America!

Haw! Take that, RISK! If only more board games ended in monster skirmishes, it would make for much more interesting play experiences. An old stand-by like Clue would take on a completely fascinating milieu with such an addition- not only would you have figure out the identity of the murderer, but then take them down after they transform into a colossal perversion of science upon being discovered.

But I digress.

Some more pics from Giant Monsters Menace America below. First up, a picture of the game board:

Here are the game pieces for the monsters and military forces (I call orange!). The two beige pieces in the monster picture (named “Mecha-Monster” and “Captain Colossal” respectively) are apparently special giant military units that can be used in conjunction with your tanks and planes:

And some examples of the mutation cards that impart special abilities to your creature during the course of play:

Further details are available from the Avalon Hill website (including an interactive demo).

The Host Region 1 DVD

From the Kung Fu Cult Cinema site:

Magnolia Home Entertainment has announced that they will be releasing Bong Joon-Ho's Korean monster film, The Host on DVD in the U.S. July 24th. The film will be released in a single disc version, a 2 disc collector's edition, and also on HD DVD and Blu-Ray. Special features on the single disc include director commentary and deleted scenes. The 2 disc edition will include those, as well as a Making of The Host featurette, a Designing the Creature featurette, storyboards, a Puppet Animatronix featurette, a Memories of the Sewer featurette, and a gag reel. Completing the package will be a Film Departments featurette, casting tapes, features on training the actors, and more.

To anyone who hasn’t had the opportunity to see this very entertaining film, I highly recommend picking up one of these DVD’s- you shan’t regret it!

South Park Creators and Daikaiju: Together Again

From Filmwad.com:

The L.A. Times reports that Matt Stone and Trey Parker, known to everyone as the force behind "South Park," are set to direct the tongue-in-cheek Godzilla-esque script "Giant Monsters Attack Japan!" The script, written by J.F. Lawton, is described as a mixture of "ninjas, samurai, cutesy mini-monsters, giant robots and the country's most enduring export, city-stomping mega-monsters played by men in rubber suits."

The material isn't that strange – Stone and Parker seem to enjoy working with puppets. But the flick apparently is shockingly clean. So clean that when all is said and done it'll get a G or PG rating.

Says Lawton (whose previous credits include "Pretty Woman" and "Under Siege"): '"It's funny, Trey and Matt said that they felt that they could do a G movie or a PG movie easier than they could a PG-13, because it's their nature to push an issue."'

Trey Parker and Matt Stone have already displayed their nostalgic fondness for Japanese giant monster movies as evidenced in the first season South Park episode, “Mecha-Streisand”. My only question is whether or not the intended audience (kids) will understand the jokes about the genre, especially considering that these kinds of films haven’t been shown on cable television in quite some time. I’m sure that the movie will still be pretty amusing regardless of whether the kiddies pick up on the satire or not, though.

Monster Attack Network

Slated for a July release, the upcoming Monster Attack Network graphic novel deals with the fictional island of Lapuatu, a place where ginormous, rampaging horrors are commonplace enough to warrant a government-funded tactical response and clean-up crew to deal with the problem. I found a little blurb online about the series from one of writers, Marc Bernardin:

“What is Monster Attack Network about? Well, the genesis came from watching too many Saturday afternoon movies as a kid. They were always one of two things: kung-fu movies or Godzilla movies. I watched dozens of them, multiple times. Even the one with Godzooki, Godzilla's human-sized kid. (Yeah, I know.) I had forgotten how wonderfully cheesy those movies were until I caught one on cable a few years ago. And my mature self wondered, "These giant monsters keep on attacking Tokyo and every time they get there, the city is sparkling, shiny, and all but beckoning to be trampled on. Who keeps rebuilding Tokyo?"

Our book is set on the fictional Pacific island of Lapuatu, which is lousy with giant monsters in the same way that California is lousy with mudslides and wildfires and the midwest is lousy with tornados. As a result, Lapuatu's governing body has established the Monster Attack Network, a mix between the Office of Emergency Management, paramedics, and FEMA. They manage the crisis and rebuild afterwards. Our lead character, Nate, runs MAN and takes the job very seriously. Too seriously, probably. His No. 2, Zeke, is the dapperest black guy in all of the Pacific... and really handy with a forklift. Our mysterious femme is Lana, a newcomer to both the island and MAN. And there's a bad guy, and a giant octopus, and human sacrifice, and salty language… you know, for the kids.”

While this all sounds cool, I’m afraid that I have to dock Mr. Bernardin a couple of points for the common error that a lot of folks make with regards to mistakenly referring to “Minya” (the infant version of Godzilla from the Toho films) as “Godzooky” (the annoying, winged “sidekick” monster that appeared in the 70's Hanna Barbera Godzilla cartoon series). Shame on you, sir.