Monday, November 3, 2008

Take My Monster, Please

The second part of my Son of Kong article is turning out to be a lot longer that I had originally intended, so I thought I'd post some filler in the meantime. I was checking out the Giant Battle Monsters webpage- a random generator that uses your name to make a creature with three attributes that are numbered between one and ten (to determine its strength)- and decided to see what kind of amazing, formidable creation that would be spawned from my pen name.

I got this:

Sheesh. Keep in mind that my monster's lame stats are used to compete with the opponent monster of whatever name you put into the second field. Let us further investigate:

Strength: 1 

The absolute lowest value you can get. So, I guess my monster isn't so much about knocking down buildings; he's a tipping over cars-kinda beast. Small cars. Or bicycles.

Agility: 2

My blob can outmaneuver rocks, trees or anything else that's immobile.

Intelligence: 3

Ooo! My highest score yet! It's even more pathetic when you consider that my monster has two heads- meaning that if you spread out the intelligence value between them (and it has to be an uneven split, given that it's an odd number), you end up with one head that's stupid and a second head that's exceptionally stupid. 

The only thing missing from that description is, "Regularly beaten up by other monsters for his lunch money." 

Go here for the generator (hopefully you'll make out better than I did):

Giant Battle Monsters

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